Yes, it is true. I had a terrible couple of days. Ever since we acquired the cows, we have struggled and struggled to sort through our life. I think we might finally be getting the hang of it. Then again, maybe not. With our commitments already stretched so thin, every little thing that goes awry feels monumental.
After a stressful day on Thursday, I woke up thinking Friday would be better. Then, I slammed my finger in the barn door, dropped half a dozen eggs on the floor, and could not get the tire pumped up on my two-wheel dolly. The rancher called and I broke down crying. His response: “Half a dozen eggs is not a big deal. I’m more concerned about your finger. Are you okay? Are you sure you didn’t break it?” These words comforted me although I continued to cry for a few more minutes. Then, I saw the picture of Jersey with his head in the bucket. I laughed and tried my best to move on.
It wasn’t until Sunday when I finally wrapped my head around a new perspective. Yes, yes, we have had this talk before. I’ve blogged about it many times. The fact is, that we have many trials. If I don’t write about them, I’m not telling the truth. I’m not being real. I often think that this whole thing is too hard. I don’t want to keep doing it. But when I see a field full of young pullets or leaves budding on my trees or bees buzzing around the hive; when I successfully make a new milk recipe or gain a new customer, then I am ready to face another day and I remember that there is joy in this whole endeavor.
Sunday, we had a fabulous lesson in church. It spoke to my heart and I had trouble holding back the tears. I realized then, that while I may not see the big picture, there is a big picture. My job is to enjoy the journey. I grabbed on to my new perspective and took it with me Sunday afternoon. I reminded myself of it today. Today, I remembered that I have a fabulous relationship with my husband. We laugh and joke and hold hands when we walk. The hard parts probably don’t matter much in the big picture, but the laughter and the hand-holding–I know they matter.